Thursday, August 10, 2006

Day XVIII – What to Write?

I was going to write about how my AC got fixed today or about how thick my day planner is, but neither of those topics launches me into a rant. I realized that what this blog needs is more than just a glimpse into the mind and heart and feelings of the inner, Inner Prop. I don't think that'll work here.

Would you read a blog about how The Duke "felt" when he shot Ned Pepper?

What about Clint Eastwood's inner emotions? Would Kelly's Heroes been better if Kelly sat the boys down and talked to them about how he used to be an officer?

Do you want to know how Arnold Schwartzenegger's feels about the environment? Not Governor Arnold, Terminator Arnold. Wait, I suppose you really don’t care a flying Predator's butt how he feels, you just want to know what he's going to DO.

Would you want to see Denis Leary and Lewis Black on The View (no way am I providing a link to The View, if you don' t know what I'm talking about I envy you)? I know I wouldn't want to see them morphed into something that would fit on The View, but maybe it would be fun to watch them on the View as they normally are. Wait, can I change my vote?

Do you want Dennis Miller (hey, he's got his own Wikipedia entry, that's like Thrasymachus, that sophist cat from Plato's Republic being on the cover of People) to explain things? Well, maybe just a little. I take that back. I don't want him to explain a G#@ D$%& thing. It's a challenge and I'm not going to let him get the better of me.

Would Rodney Dangerfield have gotten respect if he had just shared his sense of alienation?

Do we want to know WHY Mel Gibson drank too much? No, we want a road warrior, we want an English killer we want a lethal weapon. We want him to beat the snot out of Christ. We don't want him to tell us what women want (ah ah ah, I ain't sendin' ya there neither). That's another challenge I want to take on myself thank you.

Which Sean Connery movie was bad? Untouchables? The Rock? Dr. No? Hunt for Red October? Russia House? Wait, what was that last one? Did you even see that one? I didn't. I'm pretty sure that's the one where he emotes.

Not to say there isn't a place for that sort of thing. There is a time and place for emotions and sharing and sometimes it's those same STRONG people who can make you sit up and notice when they do: Eastwood in Unforgiven, Jimmy Stewart in Wonderful Life, Gayle Sayers in Brian's Song (I'm going to have to have a separate Crying Movies Post), your Dad telling you he's proud of you as he pins on your Bronze Star, Walter Payton letting Church Lady call him Wally and asking him how he felt about being a football player.

Those times must be few and far between for them to have impact so that's what they'll be here. Sure you'll still get my award winning fiction, but no, "I was down trodden because no one listens to me" anymore. No more cute little girls in front of bushes, no sir.

Humor and rants, brother! That's the watchword round here from now on. Well, actually two words, humor and rants are the two words 'round here, from now on. Humor and rants and award winning fiction. Well, the fiction that did win awards isn't actually HERE, but the fiction you see here is from an award-winning author.

SO: Humor and rants and fiction by an award-winning author are the watchwords here!


Anonymous said...

I have been reading a few of your days and I am beginning to wonder if you are really that unhappy or if you need to see a professional.

Do you ever have a happy moment, or have you ever had one? I hope this bog stuff is just an outlet for the unhappy stuff and not your complete outlook on life.

Now I'm really getting worried about you.

Your first lady

Inner Prop said...

I'm not angry. I'm trying to be funny in a loud, punch your buddy in the arm sort of way.

I tend to rant in a Lewis Black kind of style. He's a comedian.

I'll try to be a little lighter, see if that works.

Thanks for the comment though. It was getting kind of lonely.