New York – The Illini 6 ambassador to the UN today made an impassioned plea to the general assembly.
"I am begging the representatives here to consider our plight. Those of us who are trying to follow the Atkin's Diet need Splenda for our coffee, to sprinkle over our morning grapefruit, to mix into our ice tea. I call for a vote to make Splenda packets available in the UN cafeteria. Oh, and also for military aid to help us take back our country from radical, er, radicals."
UN Secretary General, Kofi Annan had this to say, "if you're on Atkin's how can you eat grapefruit, doesn't that have carbs?"
Ambassador Nowwiththirtypercentmore held up his copy of the Atkin's Diet, but didn't say anything.
The Ambassador from Munchkinland said, "What about the wicked witch, er, radical Radicals?"
Mr. Annan complained about having a headache, but Governor Schwartzennger assured him that it wasn't a tumor.
Then they all took a two-hour lunch.