Initiate Bacchanalia

"How 'bout some of that vino, buddy?" I asked the man with the bottle. 

The party was young; the night beautiful; everyone was well dressed and everything, the deck, the house, the whole subdivision, was new.

I spotted a man offering another a cigar.

"Got one for me, pal?"

The men were so startled by my appearance they complied unquestioningly. Thus provisioned, I went in search of the hostess.

Half the guests were on the deck. The rest were taking a tour of the house or gathered around the food in the dining room. I went inside to the hostess: a beautiful young woman in a short, red dress showing long, shapely legs. 

Initiate Social Intercourse

She smelled my cigar.

"No cigars in the house," she turned and her jaw dropped.

"Who, WHAT are you?"

"A satyr," a man stated, looking over his glasses.

"Similar, only more FAUN. Get it." I nudged a woman's knee near me.

"A faun?"

Initiate Self Analysis

I looked down at my hairy, vest-covered chest; fur covered groin and legs; and my hooves.

Identity Confirmed.

"Yup. I'm a faun, actually a faundroid," I hopped onto a chair to be eye level with the guests, and look down the dresses.

"Dan!" Hostess screeched, then asked me, "How did you get here, where did you come from, what do you want?"

I took a drag from my cigar. Everyone leaned in closely.

"Several very rich men with access to very high technology had daughters who were playmates. When these daughters became fascinated with fantasy worlds their fathers built them an enchanted forest, with electronic fauns, nymphs, unicorns and dragons. Unfortunately, by the time the forest was built, the girls had discovered boys and wanted no part of it. They sold it off to real estate developers and it became your lovely homes."

I drank.

"They rounded the dragons and unicorns up for private zoos. There are just a few fauns and nymphs left, mostly in the stand of trees between the back-yards."

The crowd gasped and looked out to the back of the property.

"As for what I want - to enjoy the party for Dionysus' sake. Oo, are those stuffed mushrooms?" I leaned over, but a male hand grabbed my wrist.

"Why aren't you out there?" Host Dan demanded.

Initiate Internal Pain Abatement

"I was kicking it with this knock-out hamadryad when the forest was 'developed.' We 'droids are so small we're radio controlled by our main computers in large, stationary objects. When they bulldozed my Meliae's tree she died, leaving me alone."

"Alone?" Hostess asked quietly.

"You can't go too far from your 'brain.' Mine's that ornamental boulder near your deck. If I went as far as the back of your property I 'd shut off, die."

There was silence.

"But, hey!" I pulled out a harmonica. "This is a party."

As I started playing I noticed my glass.

"How 'bout some of that vino, buddy?" I asked the man with the bottle.

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