Part 2 – Congratulations Doctor Neal You Do Not Get Tenure
”Doctor Neal, may I speak with you?"
Fredrick Neal was standing in his lab, examining a microscope. He was well built and athletic without being bulky. He had perfect skin, perfect teeth and a fantastic head of hair. He looked up with his glorious golden eyes and smoothed his magnificent mustache.
Cassandra Jones was thin and tall, not thin and tall like a wire guided antenna, but more like Seattle's Space Needle. Her exoticness extended to her voice. It reminded Neal of a predatory bird's scream or a German dive-bomber. The woman made him flinch whenever he heard her voice.
"Yes, Ms Jones," Neal shuffled on his stool, fear obvious in his voice.
"Doctor Neal you may be the most intelligent person in the university, and that is saying quite a bit," she sauntered toward him. For a moment his fear took a back seat as he marveled at the giraffe-ntile way she moved. The pendulous swing of her legs was almost hypnotic.
"Well, thank, thank you very much, Ms Jones."
"Oh please stop calling me that." She took a few steps to stand across from him and leaned over the table like a cantilevered crane.
"What would you like," he said as she put a finger on his chest, "What would you like me to call you?"
"You know, you are really the most adorable little man, perfection in miniature."
"It's more efficient, and adds in life extension. I, uh designed the treatment myself."
"I could just eat you up," she licked her lips and he hopped off the chair backwards. Though this left him a straight-line view just below her breasts, it also made use of the stool as a barrier.
"It is a rather complicated procedure. It involved genetically modifying virus RNA, not just to cause the desired effect in the patient, but to modify the behavior and propagation of the viruses. If you would like I could-"
"Cass," she said as if she were putting a finger over his mouth with only the word.
"Um, excuse me?"
"You asked what you should call me. You should call me Cass."
"Oh, um thank-"
"Often, and immediately."
While his mind worked at that she held out a long hand and helped him back onto his stool.
"I would love for you to give me, the treatment. That's not why I came down her though." She turned away and hung her head. He said nothing as she took a few steps down the table to retrieve her clipboard. She looked at it and composed herself. When she turned back to him she couldn't fight the smile that spread across her face.
"Oh, you are just too adorable the way you shrink back in terror like that."
"You're a very-"
"Yes, power can have that effect."
"Right, power, that's exactly what it is."
"I mean, as the Dean and head of your department I hold a lot of power over you."
"Like I could come in here and tell you that you don't have tenure and you won't be getting it," she forced a chuckle and batted at his shoulder, feigning playfulness. He was quite surprised she could reach that far as she was several steps away.
"Wait, are you telling me I'm fired?"
"Let's call it an opportunity for us to take our relationship to a more personal and maybe intimate level."
"Well, as the head of your department I am your boss so it would be conflict of interest and maybe sexual harassment for us to, I don't know date."
“So I’m fired, after all this time. Thank you very much. How long do I have to get my stuff and get out?”
“You’ll have to finish teaching your classes.”
“The whole rest of the semester?”
Jones opened and closed her mouth twice.
“Well, Ms Jones, you know what? You can just screw yourself.” He stepped off his stool as dignified as anyone could and stormed off. Actually, given his size it was more of a gentle sun-shower.
At the door he paused and looked back at her.
“Screw yourself.” He slammed the door.
“But that’s what I wanted you to do.”