Joke Attempt Number 1

I wrote a joke and I thought I would throw it against the wall here to see if it would stick.

Molly and Peggy were gossiping over the backyard fence.

"I heard your Pat was out drinking last night and really tied one on," Peggy said.

Molly rolled her eyes, "Let me tell you. I told him that if he was going to stay out he had to call me, so he was at the Blue Shamrock and tried to find a phone."

"They have pay toilets there, don't they?"

"Yes and Pat walked into one thinking it was a pay phone."

"Oh, no."

"Oh yes, and that ain't the worst of it."

"It gets worse?"

"He tried to reverse the charges."

Another Link in the Chain

I've added another link in my "Prop Friends" link section on the right side of the blog.

This one is to CSM Medina's website. The CSM is the Command Sergeant Major for the portion of my old unit (108th Sustainment Brigade) that's being deployed to Iraq.

He is keeping a daily log and has loads of photos up there. It should be a great site for first hand knowledge about what it is like for soldiers in Iraq in the coming months.

That's him in the photo here. I guess he was in the last triathalon here in Chicago. I don't mind the swimming and biking, but I hate running. That's one of the best parts about being retired, no more running.

3000 Visit Illini6!

This past week Illini6 received our 3000th visitor! This is terrific. I firmly believe that the more we get visitors the more people will share and the more visitors we will get.

I want everybody everywhere to read Illin6 so I’m glad you came and I hope you brought a friend.

The map is from Sitemeter and it shows just where in the world the last 100 visitors were sitting with their computers when they decided to virtually visit Illini6.

We’ve had visitors from:
All over the US including Alaska, Hawaii and Canada (I know it’s not part of the US, I’m just kidding please don’t be offended)
Korea, Japan and China;
Auckland, New Zealand, Melbourne and Sydney, Australia
Germany, Ireland and England;
Argentina, Chile and Brazil;
And even from Cape Verde in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

If I missed anybody, my apologizes.

So where you from, do you come here often? Before you look around and read lots of stuff, why don’t you leave a quick comment and let us know where you are and why you came.

Thanks everybody!

Fiction Monday Update

I did NOT get any writing done this past, long weekend. I need to edit a mystery story I'm working on called "The Pizza Delivery Boy." When I get it done, I'm going to submit it to some high paying magazines.

I have a short story called "Lest Too Light Winning Makes the Prize Light" submitted to an e-zine called AlienQ. The story is a SF story modeled after Aldous Huxley's novel Brave New World and William Shakespeare's play The Tempest.

The story is set in a future where dozens of artificial worlds have been built in the solar system and many of them have genetically engineered people in them. The protagonist is a Major from a world that uses genetic engineering to divide people into castes. He is sent with his Regiment to provide military aid to a world populated by people who have engineered themselves so that they can fly.

I guess that Cthulhu Kitty was a good luck charm afterall. I'm being published in a Christmas cat anthology. Whortleberry Press is doing the anthology called Cats Around the Christmas Tree and my story was accepted. If you go there now you can order a copy in time for Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving to Everybody Everywhere!

We had Thanksgiving here in the Prop estate with my in-laws yesterday.

I had to wait until it happened, but I am happy to report that the folks from the 108th Sustainment Brigade who are deploying to Iraq soon have a pass for the holidays. I think they are home for the most part.

When I was deployed to Afghanistan I was LUCKY enough to get a two week leave at Christmas time. I was in Afghanistan for Thanksgiving and so was Major John.

I got to thinking about all those service members who are not home for the holidays.

Sometimes it can be hard, but if the service members are inside their bases on a holiday it can be quite festive.

This is a photo from last Thanksgiving in Iraq.

There is a tradition in the military that during holidays the higher ranking members serve the common soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines.

Notice the two star general serving.

And if that isn't a high enough rank try this from Bahgdad in '03:

I was very thankful to be the ranking officer serving my family this year and I am thankful for all those who Serve so that I may serve.

Happy Thanksgiving!

WKRP Turkey Drop Payoff

DO NOT Watch this video until you have watched the one below.

This is the ultimate Thanksgiving quote of all time, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

WKRP Turkey Drop

Oh the humanity!

Christmas has Rudolph, Frosty, George Bailey, Christmas Story and Scrooge; Easter has Peter Cottontail but this is all we have for Thanksgiving. I think it stacks up with those other greats.

I'm going to have a very special post tomorrow hopefully. So Happy Thanksgiving Eve.

Boys of St. Leonard's

This is a mystery series idea.

St. Leonard of Noblac is the patron saint against burglars and robbers (St. Nicholas of Myra, later became St. Nicholas or Santa Claus is also a patron against criminals or for the innocent). St. Leonard's is the very expensive and exclusive Catholic dorm at the University of North Central Illinois.

A black college student, Clovis O'Malley, on an academic scholarship finds that his roommate is an old football rival. The other boy, Nicholas Noblac, was known as "The Widowmaker" because of his ferocious hits in blocking and ball carrying (as a full back).

The Widowmaker contracted AIDS while giving CPR to someone. The victim and his lover are putting the boy through school because he doesn't play football anymore and lost his scholarship. He is an Eagle Scout and an "All American Boy."

The boys do detective work to earn a few extra bucks. They complement each others' abilities.

Clovis is a natural genius and slightly sheltered, but being African-American he sees things from that perspective. His father was a cop, but also worked as a security guard and a truck driver. He was a strict RC. His father was an Irish cop in Chicago and his mother was from Haiti. His mother was a stay at home mom and quite strict. Her parents were a nurse and a very successful studio musician for Chess Records in Chicago. Their grandparents were all born slaves and moved north during or right after the Civil War.

Nicholas was reared by his grandfather, as his parents were killed when he was about ten. His grandfather was lenient and he was left to fend for himself most of the time. He is smart, but has more street smarts and is a little harder, while being nearly a saint (not tempted by any vice).

Inner Prop's Original Fiction found on Illini 6

This is a description of the original fiction you will find on this blog. See the links section on the sidebar for links to the stories and all the chapters.

The novels only have four sample chapters each.

Seekretya - My 2010 NaNoWriMo winner.  I only posted one chapter because I think it really needs a lot of work.  This is a fantasy novel set in the magical land of Seekretya.  It includes young human heroes, young love, mature love, magic, magical people, wars, kidnaping, escapes, flying machines, dragons and steam trains.

Guya Principal - This is a novel I wrote and completed in November 2006 for the NaNoWriMo. It is a comedy, sci-fi, fantasy story about a giant blob of dark matter that becomes self-aware and decides to remake itself in the image of the Earth, with parts of the Earth for good measure.

"Epiphany" - A non-SF, non-Fantasy, non-Mystery, non-Horror short story.

"Surf's Down" - A mystery short story from the The Larch and The Ash universe. I wanted to write a complete story with the main character from those novels. Try her out.

"Princess Gelachien Decides to Marry" - One of a triple short story set in the Fantasy universe of Ontia. This story stands alone, but fits tightly into the trilogy.

"Love is Higher than the Faet" - Part Two of the Courtship of Princess Gelachien.

"Bellwether's Asteroid" - Major John's favorite. This is a horror short story in the H. P. Lovecraft vein. It is a little long and so probably not readily publishable by normal standards. I like it a lot too.

"Pseudo-Football" - A comedy SF short story. This was written as part of a contest. I didn't win, but the challenge was to write about aliens and football. Europeans will recognize that the football to which I'm refering here is soccer. This is in a Douglas Adams sort of style.

"At the Front Gate" - A short story I did for an Erma Bombeck contest. It isn't strictly fiction as it is based on some real life events, but they were slightly fictionalized. I didn't win this contest either, not even honorable mention. This isn't sour grapes, but I never found Erma Bombeck funny either.

Reach Out - My 2005 NaNoWriMo novel. This too is complete. It is a YA space opera.

"Won't Get Fooled Again" - A short story that was originally written for a contest (I didn't win). It is a horror story set in the "Bellwether's Asteroid" universe.

"Empire Beyond Mars" - This is an attempt to write a space opera serial. I only completed part of one episode.

"Faun-O-Matic" - This was a contest story that did win. It is a sci-fi story.

"Wreck of the Vasco da Gamma" - On the way home from Afghanistan I challenged my friends to a writing contest based on the brand of cigars we were smoking. I was the only one who completed this sci-fi story EDIT: I have been reminded that Major John of Miserable Donuts did also complete his story, maybe we can encourage him to post it here.(including a space chantey). I wrote it entirely on the plane.

"Release the Super-Strong Crazed Genetically-Engineered Sloths!" - A comedy SF story I started writing. At the time I was asking the readers what they wanted to see as a regular serial. This didn't get any votes that I remember. It was based on suggestions from a random writing suggestion web site called Seventh Sanctum.

The Larch - This is an excerpt from a mystery book I started. The original idea was for it to be a comedy, but as I read it I felt that it was more interesting and weird than funny. The murder weapon is a tree (the titular Larch) and the main sleuth is a transsexual police detective on the Chicago Police Department. The same sleuth also appears in "Surf's Down" with her ex-wife and in The Ash. The idea for the title came from the Monty Python sketch, How to Recognize Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way.

The Ash - The planned sequel to The Larch. I was having trouble with some of the mechanics of The Larch and thought that I could figure them out by writing "Surf's Down" and starting The Ash. In this book our heroine has left the CPD after solving the Larch case. She meets a very interesting multimillionare who lives on a beautiful river barge. There is no love interest in this story, but has she found a partner for her mystery solving future?

The Barfight on Simplicity Genoid - This was for a contest on Mirable Visu. I lost. I love the crew, I love the feel of the story, I want to write another story with them but I don't know where they go next.

Renovations and a Bouquet

I'm making a few more improvements in this blog. I'm going to put a section on the side with links for all the short stories and novel excerpts on the blog so they are easier to find.

I have also started a blog called Flowers of Mundelein. This new blog will be specifically and solely about family issues for me and the propettes. I've also put the link on the sidebar with the other links.

This should be more than enough for the folks who said they want to see more family material on this blog. Because it will be on that blog, it will not be here. I think this blog will be busy enough.

That's me on the far right in the blue btw.

What Makes an Expert?

My Dad used to always say, “This is what an expert is: ex is the unknown factor and a spert is a drip under pressure.”

I’ve been doing research to improve this blog and I’ve been looking at other people’s blogs. They all seem to know so much.

I give a run down on the topics I put on the poll to see how I stack up as an “expert” in these topics:


· WRITING FICTION - While I have been studying this topic more fervently in the last twenty years than any other (except maybe Excel) I hesitate to claim to be an expert since I have made a grand total of $10 on my writing. It’s all about the art though, right.

· DEPLOYMENT – I am an expert on Illinois Army National Guard Deployment to Afghanistan 2004-2005. That is a fairly limited topic (understatement). I don’t know how many people would really be interested or how many articles I could really get out of that. However I am currently the Family Readiness Group leader for the 108th Sustainment Brigade who are being deployed to Iraq soon. I will have a pretty good insight to what those soldiers and their families are going through.

· RUGBY - I do consider myself to be one of the most knowledgeable people that I know in this topic. I could easily become THE font of knowledge about the subject in the Chicago Area Rugby Football Union (CARFU), but first I want to watch the DVDs I have of the recent RWC. I want to watch them as if they are live and I don’t want the end to be spoiled. Give me a couple of months and I am right there.

· SCOUTING - I am an Eagle Scout and I was a District Executive for four years in the Chicago Area Council of the Boy Scouts of America. I was an active scouter from age eight until age twenty eight. Trouble is, I’ve been out of the BSA all those years. I’ve been involved with the Girl Scouts of the USA (GSUSA) for the past six years, but I’m no expert there.

· ANTHROPOLOGY - I thought, “I have a BA in Anthropology, maybe I can write about Anthropology” but there are some really intense Anthropology and Archaeology blogs out there, and some of them are amateurs. I don’t know if I could add anything useful.

Then I remembered that part of the reason I wanted to study Anthropology is because I wanted to be an expert on Native Americans for our Boy Scout troop. I wanted to make the costumes we used in ceremonies and the actions of the actors more authentic. But I recently found out that there is already a blog about Scouting and Native Americans. It may be all anyone needs on the subject. Maybe I’m a little too late on this topic.

· CONCULTURES AND CONLANGS – ConCultures means Constructed Cultures. These are made up cultures and peoples. They are a combination of anthropology and fiction and I feel I have at least a good background in both of these. ConLang means Constructed Languages. I wrote a previous post on this subject. It goes hand in hand with ConCultures, but I have had less training in linguistics.

· MICROSOFT EXCEL. This wasn’t one of the choices in the poll, but I am definitely at expert level on Excel. In fact I would go so far as to say, if there is anyone out there reading this that is having a problem with Excel they can send me an email at innerprop@sbcglobal.net and I will help them.


So I guess I do have some expertise in some subjects. I’ve been thinking of taking the approach of the original Mickey Mouse Club and have a different theme each day. The MMC had the following schedule:

· Monday is Fun with Music
· Tuesday is Guest Star Day
· Wednesday is Anything Can Happen Day
· Thursday is Circus
· Friday is Talent Round-up

I could go with:

· Monday is Fiction Day
· Tuesday is Guest Star Day
· Wednesday is Anything Can Happen Day
· Thursday is Rugby Day
· Friday is ConCulture Day.

What do you think?

The Study of Blog

I'm studying right now to learn what I can about blogging so that this will be a great blog.

It may seem a bit like learning how to ride after the barn door was left open, but I figure better late than never.

I'm reading the following books:

1. The Weblog Handbook by Rebecca Blood. This book was published in '02 so it may not be up to date enough.

2. No One Cares What You Had For Lunch, 100 Ideas for Your Blog by Margaret Mason. This book looks good and was written in '07.

3. Blogwild! : a guide for small business blogging by Andy Wibbels. I might want to make some money blogging someday. I didn't think it was possible, but I just saw a poll recently and 30% of people who answered made something like $15000 on their blogs in Oct 07. Wow.

4. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Creating a Web Page and Blog by Paul McFedries. This one has a CD, wow. I like the Complete Idiots stuff so I may find this useful, and it's from '07 too.

5. The Tower Treasure by Franklin W. Dixon. This is an audio book of the first Hardy boys mystery. It isn't a blog book, but I am listening to it.

A couple of things I'm considering are:

1. A separate blog for home front issues (supporting the 108th Sustainment Brigade, see my vigil candle at right). It might be called "Victory Garden" ("homefront" is already taken).

2. A separate blog for family matters. I would give each of my Props a code name and only talk about things that had already (but recently) happened. Basically I'd be using the same OPSEC that I would in the military. It would be called "The Flowers of Mundelein."

3. "Papa Stories" a blog about, what else? This may be a great way to record and share all those wonderful stories. It would also keep a certain brother Prop of mine from claiming them as his own. I would also interject factual information about the history surrounding the story. For example I could talk about the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Civil War when presenting, "The Night of the Purple Fog."

Any thoughts? Any book recommendations? Do you like my photo at right?

Congratulations, Explanations, Rejuvenation and Reevaluation

First off, many people may have come here by Googling "Illini" since the football team's outstanding, upset win last Saturday over Ohio State. I know I would be confused if I landed here and found this site when I was looking for football.

Let me say, welcome anyway and hope you stay. Let me also say congratulations to the team. I don't follow college football much. It is too complicated and I only went to one game while I was at Illinois (because ROTC required that I go and sell soda for a fundraiser). I was busy on Saturday afternoons with the other, original form of football, RUGBY.

That said, this is not an American Football site, nor is it a fan site for Fighting Illini teams per se.

This brings me to the real topic of today's post, Reevaluation and Rejuvenation.

I saw a show on History International the other night called "Band of Bloggers." It was about bloggers in Iraq and it made me think about my blog.

This blog will be two years old next January and I've had less than three thousand visitors in that time. I'd like to get more traffic, regular commenters and basically an audience for my writing (my fiction or my blogging or both).

In the past two years the blog has changed emphasis a couple of times and none of those changes seemed to garner any more traffic.

This has been over a month of one of the most steady times I have had for daily postings in the history of Illini6. This means that I have the commitment and the drive right now to make a change for the better.

I want to take a more systematic approach this time to evaluate the shape, image and content of this blog. I have requested blogging books from the library, and I have taken the plunge to redesign the look of the blog. I hope you like it.

A new feature available through Blogger is the poll on the upper left. I intend to use the poll quite often now so that is one definite change.

Please take the poll and let me know what you are interested in seeing and participating in on this blog. You can choose more than one thing.

Let's make this an entertaining and informative place to visit.

Happy Veterans' Day and Thank You

Before midnight it was Veterans' Day (I'm on 3rd shift now and my days are kinda mixed up).

I can't get a good salute together in my head, but I really had to post something today.

I am a veteran myself, so is my father and my brother. I have another brother who will soon become a vet. My maternal grandfather was a WWII vet and so was his brother-in-law.

I cannot express the gratitude I feel at the sacrifice, bravery and patriotism that all vets and their spouses and families went through and continue to go through.

This is the oath I took:

I (insert name), having been appointed a Lieutenant in the U.S. Army under the conditions indicated in this document, do accept such appointment and do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter, so help me God. [emphasis mine].

Thank you Veterans, God bless you all.

She Does Have a Test Today. That Wasn't BS.

"It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

Today is High School entrance exam day for Number One Daughter. Of course she was almost late because she had to do her hair, and make sure she had the right shirt, and "come on Dad, I can get up six minutes before I have to leave, why are you getting me up so early..."

It's a good thing she doesn't get test anxiety because her mother and I were nervous wrecks.

It is also dentist day. The younger two Propettes went to the dentist and Number Two Daughter may need braces. Great.

Later is a basketball game for Number One Daughter and a party for Number Two Daughter if she gets enough of her project done before hand.

Last night we went to see Les Mes with the Girl Scouts.

Thursday I spoke at a Veterans' Day assembly at the Propettes' school. It was really neat and they are making a DVD of the affair. I hope I can figure out how to cull some footage to show you all here. The panel included two WWII vets, a Viet Nam vet and lil' ole me. I was sure humbled when the WWII vets mentioned that they were in the Battle of the Bulge, and the VN vet said he was an FO.

After the Veterans' Day thing I ran to my old unit. They are preparing to go to Iraq and I volunteered to help (so of course they made me the leader of the Family Readiness Group). I should have a lot of info about Iraq and how it affects Illinois families coming this year (stay tuned). Thursday they had about five hours of briefings for the families so I went.

Then I raced back home to go to parent / teacher conferences.

Wow, no wonder I haven't blogged in a couple of days!

Four Lakes, IL

In the north of Lake County Illinois there is a quaint little town of three thousand, nestled between four lakes.

Ruby Lake is on the west, so named because from the bluffs the setting sun turns the waters deep red and gold. This is taken advantage of the half dozen Bed and Breakfasts that line the shores on Ruby Ring Road, which circles the lake.

To the south is the wide, clear Sapphire Lake. To the east is the tiny, tree-lined Emerald Lake in the shape of her namesake.

In the thirties Pearl Creek was dammed as part of the WPA. The dam created Pearl Lake, a sprawling, shallow bifurcated waterway surrounded by a newly created Pearl Lake State Park. The state park continued over the border to become a Wisconsin state park as well. The park was administered by a purpose built town named Pearl City.

It was at that point that the fate of little Four Lakes took a turn for the worse. Her electrical needs were met by the dam, but the new lake shut her off from any major roadway. The railroad already bypassed her and when the highway system expanded they went straight to the newly built town of Pearl City.
Now Four Lakes is a sleepy haven for those who seek distance without leaving the second most populated county in Illinois.

Today's Your Birthday!

November 5th is Guy Fawkes Day but someday it will be known worldwide as Inner Prop Day!

It's my birthday (or was before midnight). I'm 41.

My brother has recently added, "The farmer says you're old..." after Happy Birthday. I really feel the farmer (maybe Farmer Ted, shown at left) is right this time.

I feel old. I mean, I don't physically feel old, but up through 40 I could feel like I was still in my "30s" since the decade doesn't end until the 1st year of the next decade. This means that at 40 I could claim to be in my thirties as could someone 31. 31 isn't old by anyone's reconing.

Not so 41.

Well, at least next year I'll have the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything.

Prop's Philosophy on "Religion"

I went to church today. I go to Greek Orthodox Church because my wife is Orthodox and her parents would never have let me marry her if we hadn't reared the kids as Orthodox.

Anyway, I went to church today armed with an article I found on the web about the differences between Roman Catholic (which I am) and Orthodox. It we written by an Orthodox person so it was generally, "Stupid Romans."

It got me to thinking about a general analogy I came up with years ago about religions. By "religions," I mean, organized or systemic belief systems and / or world-views (including religions and the scientific method).

My analogy is this: religion is to God and the ultimate Truth as maps are to the actual things they are mapping.

I am assuming there is an ultimate and immutable Truth. I am not assuming God or any sort of god.

There is a reality to the universe and all religions attempt to portray that universe. Some world views, like the scientific method, do not try to "get you somewhere" they just provide information, while some are trying to get you to heaven, Asgard, Nirvana, God etc.

Now, there are a lot of different types of maps, topographical, political, road, climatic, historical, bird migration etc. Each can portray a certain area in a different way, with different emphasis and different information. They may not look anything like each other, but they do not contradict each other and they may all be accurate and true.

There are even some maps that because of their purpose may be somewhat misleading. A "Strip Map" showing you the route to grandma's house may be completely out of scale so that the important turns and landmarks can be made more prominent.

The AAA map and the grandma's strip map may look totally different and may in fact contradict each other, but they could also both get you to grandma's house.

Apply the concept to religion here. Two religions may be contradictory, but still get you to God.

Just because the maps don't look like each other, and even if they disagree with each other doesn't mean, and isn't evidence that they are "wrong."

Just because religions don't agree doesn't mean one or both of them are "wrong."

On the other hand the maps (and religions) could be inaccurate or completely wrong. They could be wrong even if they agree with each other.

The bottom line is, a religion or world-view is only a map. It is not reality, just a representation.

Cubicle Wizard

Hold that thought. Also hold these:

Cubicans, small brownie-like, helpful creatures of the night office.

Goulays: evil, kolboldesque creatures of the office that mess with your stuff at night.

Jiminy Cricket!

"We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves." - Eric Hoffer

Well, this post isn't a lie. I said I'd try to post based off quotes and here I am doing it.

Amazing.

Funny thing is, in the past, right here on ye olde bloge I've made resolutions and such and NOT followed through. I don't know why that is and I wonder if it has cost me readers.

What do you think?

Anyways, I was thinking that I could you this blog to record story ideas and such. I'm always jotting down notes on story ideas and maybe I could do it here and we could all discuss the merits of my brainstorms.

My first thought is based on my starting to read What Does a Martian Look Like by Jack Cohen and Ian Stuart. This book is making me think that I am just not smart enough to write SF. I am certainly smart enough to read and enjoy it, just not smart enough to contribute to the genre.

Maybe I should stick to fantasy, mystery and or horror.

The reason I've steered away from fantasy is Harry Potter. There are just too many fantasy books out there with authors and publishers trying to cash in on the Rowlings cow. I wanted to make SF fun and influential again. Maybe I can't, but maybe there's a teat out there for me on the fantasy bandwagon (mixed metaphor warning!)

Anyway, I just can't seem to get back to writing and I think I'm lying to myself. I don't think I have time, but maybe I'm just procrastinating and if I just prioritized writing higher then there would be time, and maybe if I just sent out my novels they'd be snatched up by publishers instantly, and mabye by the end of next year I'll be able to quit my night job and start writing full time.

Excuse me, my nose is growing again...

Goodbye Washoe

Tuesday the chimp, Washoe died. She was born in 1965 so she was about a year older than me. She was the first non-human to learn a human language (American Sign Language).

I have known about her for years and as an Anthropology major I knew that she (and the research done with her) was very influential.

She not only had a vocabulary of about 250 words, she taught other chimps to "speak" ASL. She also showed that non-humans can lie.

Since I had first heard of her so long ago I had assumed that she was long dead, but I am saddened to hear that she was alive and died of natural causes. I thought she was very cool.

Now that Cthulhu month (October) is over you are probably wondering if I will keep up with the regular posting here on Illini6. Well, I'm going to try. I am going to go back to posting a quote daily (or maybe nearly daily).