Inner Prop's Original Fiction found on Illini 6

This is a description of the original fiction you will find on this blog. See the links section on the sidebar for links to the stories and all the chapters.

The novels only have four sample chapters each.

Seekretya - My 2010 NaNoWriMo winner.  I only posted one chapter because I think it really needs a lot of work.  This is a fantasy novel set in the magical land of Seekretya.  It includes young human heroes, young love, mature love, magic, magical people, wars, kidnaping, escapes, flying machines, dragons and steam trains.

Guya Principal - This is a novel I wrote and completed in November 2006 for the NaNoWriMo. It is a comedy, sci-fi, fantasy story about a giant blob of dark matter that becomes self-aware and decides to remake itself in the image of the Earth, with parts of the Earth for good measure.

"Epiphany" - A non-SF, non-Fantasy, non-Mystery, non-Horror short story.

"Surf's Down" - A mystery short story from the The Larch and The Ash universe. I wanted to write a complete story with the main character from those novels. Try her out.

"Princess Gelachien Decides to Marry" - One of a triple short story set in the Fantasy universe of Ontia. This story stands alone, but fits tightly into the trilogy.

"Love is Higher than the Faet" - Part Two of the Courtship of Princess Gelachien.

"Bellwether's Asteroid" - Major John's favorite. This is a horror short story in the H. P. Lovecraft vein. It is a little long and so probably not readily publishable by normal standards. I like it a lot too.

"Pseudo-Football" - A comedy SF short story. This was written as part of a contest. I didn't win, but the challenge was to write about aliens and football. Europeans will recognize that the football to which I'm refering here is soccer. This is in a Douglas Adams sort of style.

"At the Front Gate" - A short story I did for an Erma Bombeck contest. It isn't strictly fiction as it is based on some real life events, but they were slightly fictionalized. I didn't win this contest either, not even honorable mention. This isn't sour grapes, but I never found Erma Bombeck funny either.

Reach Out - My 2005 NaNoWriMo novel. This too is complete. It is a YA space opera.

"Won't Get Fooled Again" - A short story that was originally written for a contest (I didn't win). It is a horror story set in the "Bellwether's Asteroid" universe.

"Empire Beyond Mars" - This is an attempt to write a space opera serial. I only completed part of one episode.

"Faun-O-Matic" - This was a contest story that did win. It is a sci-fi story.

"Wreck of the Vasco da Gamma" - On the way home from Afghanistan I challenged my friends to a writing contest based on the brand of cigars we were smoking. I was the only one who completed this sci-fi story EDIT: I have been reminded that Major John of Miserable Donuts did also complete his story, maybe we can encourage him to post it here.(including a space chantey). I wrote it entirely on the plane.

"Release the Super-Strong Crazed Genetically-Engineered Sloths!" - A comedy SF story I started writing. At the time I was asking the readers what they wanted to see as a regular serial. This didn't get any votes that I remember. It was based on suggestions from a random writing suggestion web site called Seventh Sanctum.

The Larch - This is an excerpt from a mystery book I started. The original idea was for it to be a comedy, but as I read it I felt that it was more interesting and weird than funny. The murder weapon is a tree (the titular Larch) and the main sleuth is a transsexual police detective on the Chicago Police Department. The same sleuth also appears in "Surf's Down" with her ex-wife and in The Ash. The idea for the title came from the Monty Python sketch, How to Recognize Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way.

The Ash - The planned sequel to The Larch. I was having trouble with some of the mechanics of The Larch and thought that I could figure them out by writing "Surf's Down" and starting The Ash. In this book our heroine has left the CPD after solving the Larch case. She meets a very interesting multimillionare who lives on a beautiful river barge. There is no love interest in this story, but has she found a partner for her mystery solving future?

The Barfight on Simplicity Genoid - This was for a contest on Mirable Visu. I lost. I love the crew, I love the feel of the story, I want to write another story with them but I don't know where they go next.

Renovations and a Bouquet

I'm making a few more improvements in this blog. I'm going to put a section on the side with links for all the short stories and novel excerpts on the blog so they are easier to find.

I have also started a blog called Flowers of Mundelein. This new blog will be specifically and solely about family issues for me and the propettes. I've also put the link on the sidebar with the other links.

This should be more than enough for the folks who said they want to see more family material on this blog. Because it will be on that blog, it will not be here. I think this blog will be busy enough.

That's me on the far right in the blue btw.

What Makes an Expert?

My Dad used to always say, “This is what an expert is: ex is the unknown factor and a spert is a drip under pressure.”

I’ve been doing research to improve this blog and I’ve been looking at other people’s blogs. They all seem to know so much.

I give a run down on the topics I put on the poll to see how I stack up as an “expert” in these topics:


· WRITING FICTION - While I have been studying this topic more fervently in the last twenty years than any other (except maybe Excel) I hesitate to claim to be an expert since I have made a grand total of $10 on my writing. It’s all about the art though, right.

· DEPLOYMENT – I am an expert on Illinois Army National Guard Deployment to Afghanistan 2004-2005. That is a fairly limited topic (understatement). I don’t know how many people would really be interested or how many articles I could really get out of that. However I am currently the Family Readiness Group leader for the 108th Sustainment Brigade who are being deployed to Iraq soon. I will have a pretty good insight to what those soldiers and their families are going through.

· RUGBY - I do consider myself to be one of the most knowledgeable people that I know in this topic. I could easily become THE font of knowledge about the subject in the Chicago Area Rugby Football Union (CARFU), but first I want to watch the DVDs I have of the recent RWC. I want to watch them as if they are live and I don’t want the end to be spoiled. Give me a couple of months and I am right there.

· SCOUTING - I am an Eagle Scout and I was a District Executive for four years in the Chicago Area Council of the Boy Scouts of America. I was an active scouter from age eight until age twenty eight. Trouble is, I’ve been out of the BSA all those years. I’ve been involved with the Girl Scouts of the USA (GSUSA) for the past six years, but I’m no expert there.

· ANTHROPOLOGY - I thought, “I have a BA in Anthropology, maybe I can write about Anthropology” but there are some really intense Anthropology and Archaeology blogs out there, and some of them are amateurs. I don’t know if I could add anything useful.

Then I remembered that part of the reason I wanted to study Anthropology is because I wanted to be an expert on Native Americans for our Boy Scout troop. I wanted to make the costumes we used in ceremonies and the actions of the actors more authentic. But I recently found out that there is already a blog about Scouting and Native Americans. It may be all anyone needs on the subject. Maybe I’m a little too late on this topic.

· CONCULTURES AND CONLANGS – ConCultures means Constructed Cultures. These are made up cultures and peoples. They are a combination of anthropology and fiction and I feel I have at least a good background in both of these. ConLang means Constructed Languages. I wrote a previous post on this subject. It goes hand in hand with ConCultures, but I have had less training in linguistics.

· MICROSOFT EXCEL. This wasn’t one of the choices in the poll, but I am definitely at expert level on Excel. In fact I would go so far as to say, if there is anyone out there reading this that is having a problem with Excel they can send me an email at innerprop@sbcglobal.net and I will help them.


So I guess I do have some expertise in some subjects. I’ve been thinking of taking the approach of the original Mickey Mouse Club and have a different theme each day. The MMC had the following schedule:

· Monday is Fun with Music
· Tuesday is Guest Star Day
· Wednesday is Anything Can Happen Day
· Thursday is Circus
· Friday is Talent Round-up

I could go with:

· Monday is Fiction Day
· Tuesday is Guest Star Day
· Wednesday is Anything Can Happen Day
· Thursday is Rugby Day
· Friday is ConCulture Day.

What do you think?

The Study of Blog

I'm studying right now to learn what I can about blogging so that this will be a great blog.

It may seem a bit like learning how to ride after the barn door was left open, but I figure better late than never.

I'm reading the following books:

1. The Weblog Handbook by Rebecca Blood. This book was published in '02 so it may not be up to date enough.

2. No One Cares What You Had For Lunch, 100 Ideas for Your Blog by Margaret Mason. This book looks good and was written in '07.

3. Blogwild! : a guide for small business blogging by Andy Wibbels. I might want to make some money blogging someday. I didn't think it was possible, but I just saw a poll recently and 30% of people who answered made something like $15000 on their blogs in Oct 07. Wow.

4. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Creating a Web Page and Blog by Paul McFedries. This one has a CD, wow. I like the Complete Idiots stuff so I may find this useful, and it's from '07 too.

5. The Tower Treasure by Franklin W. Dixon. This is an audio book of the first Hardy boys mystery. It isn't a blog book, but I am listening to it.

A couple of things I'm considering are:

1. A separate blog for home front issues (supporting the 108th Sustainment Brigade, see my vigil candle at right). It might be called "Victory Garden" ("homefront" is already taken).

2. A separate blog for family matters. I would give each of my Props a code name and only talk about things that had already (but recently) happened. Basically I'd be using the same OPSEC that I would in the military. It would be called "The Flowers of Mundelein."

3. "Papa Stories" a blog about, what else? This may be a great way to record and share all those wonderful stories. It would also keep a certain brother Prop of mine from claiming them as his own. I would also interject factual information about the history surrounding the story. For example I could talk about the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Civil War when presenting, "The Night of the Purple Fog."

Any thoughts? Any book recommendations? Do you like my photo at right?

Congratulations, Explanations, Rejuvenation and Reevaluation

First off, many people may have come here by Googling "Illini" since the football team's outstanding, upset win last Saturday over Ohio State. I know I would be confused if I landed here and found this site when I was looking for football.

Let me say, welcome anyway and hope you stay. Let me also say congratulations to the team. I don't follow college football much. It is too complicated and I only went to one game while I was at Illinois (because ROTC required that I go and sell soda for a fundraiser). I was busy on Saturday afternoons with the other, original form of football, RUGBY.

That said, this is not an American Football site, nor is it a fan site for Fighting Illini teams per se.

This brings me to the real topic of today's post, Reevaluation and Rejuvenation.

I saw a show on History International the other night called "Band of Bloggers." It was about bloggers in Iraq and it made me think about my blog.

This blog will be two years old next January and I've had less than three thousand visitors in that time. I'd like to get more traffic, regular commenters and basically an audience for my writing (my fiction or my blogging or both).

In the past two years the blog has changed emphasis a couple of times and none of those changes seemed to garner any more traffic.

This has been over a month of one of the most steady times I have had for daily postings in the history of Illini6. This means that I have the commitment and the drive right now to make a change for the better.

I want to take a more systematic approach this time to evaluate the shape, image and content of this blog. I have requested blogging books from the library, and I have taken the plunge to redesign the look of the blog. I hope you like it.

A new feature available through Blogger is the poll on the upper left. I intend to use the poll quite often now so that is one definite change.

Please take the poll and let me know what you are interested in seeing and participating in on this blog. You can choose more than one thing.

Let's make this an entertaining and informative place to visit.

Happy Veterans' Day and Thank You

Before midnight it was Veterans' Day (I'm on 3rd shift now and my days are kinda mixed up).

I can't get a good salute together in my head, but I really had to post something today.

I am a veteran myself, so is my father and my brother. I have another brother who will soon become a vet. My maternal grandfather was a WWII vet and so was his brother-in-law.

I cannot express the gratitude I feel at the sacrifice, bravery and patriotism that all vets and their spouses and families went through and continue to go through.

This is the oath I took:

I (insert name), having been appointed a Lieutenant in the U.S. Army under the conditions indicated in this document, do accept such appointment and do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter, so help me God. [emphasis mine].

Thank you Veterans, God bless you all.

She Does Have a Test Today. That Wasn't BS.

"It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

Today is High School entrance exam day for Number One Daughter. Of course she was almost late because she had to do her hair, and make sure she had the right shirt, and "come on Dad, I can get up six minutes before I have to leave, why are you getting me up so early..."

It's a good thing she doesn't get test anxiety because her mother and I were nervous wrecks.

It is also dentist day. The younger two Propettes went to the dentist and Number Two Daughter may need braces. Great.

Later is a basketball game for Number One Daughter and a party for Number Two Daughter if she gets enough of her project done before hand.

Last night we went to see Les Mes with the Girl Scouts.

Thursday I spoke at a Veterans' Day assembly at the Propettes' school. It was really neat and they are making a DVD of the affair. I hope I can figure out how to cull some footage to show you all here. The panel included two WWII vets, a Viet Nam vet and lil' ole me. I was sure humbled when the WWII vets mentioned that they were in the Battle of the Bulge, and the VN vet said he was an FO.

After the Veterans' Day thing I ran to my old unit. They are preparing to go to Iraq and I volunteered to help (so of course they made me the leader of the Family Readiness Group). I should have a lot of info about Iraq and how it affects Illinois families coming this year (stay tuned). Thursday they had about five hours of briefings for the families so I went.

Then I raced back home to go to parent / teacher conferences.

Wow, no wonder I haven't blogged in a couple of days!

Four Lakes, IL

In the north of Lake County Illinois there is a quaint little town of three thousand, nestled between four lakes.

Ruby Lake is on the west, so named because from the bluffs the setting sun turns the waters deep red and gold. This is taken advantage of the half dozen Bed and Breakfasts that line the shores on Ruby Ring Road, which circles the lake.

To the south is the wide, clear Sapphire Lake. To the east is the tiny, tree-lined Emerald Lake in the shape of her namesake.

In the thirties Pearl Creek was dammed as part of the WPA. The dam created Pearl Lake, a sprawling, shallow bifurcated waterway surrounded by a newly created Pearl Lake State Park. The state park continued over the border to become a Wisconsin state park as well. The park was administered by a purpose built town named Pearl City.

It was at that point that the fate of little Four Lakes took a turn for the worse. Her electrical needs were met by the dam, but the new lake shut her off from any major roadway. The railroad already bypassed her and when the highway system expanded they went straight to the newly built town of Pearl City.
Now Four Lakes is a sleepy haven for those who seek distance without leaving the second most populated county in Illinois.

Today's Your Birthday!

November 5th is Guy Fawkes Day but someday it will be known worldwide as Inner Prop Day!

It's my birthday (or was before midnight). I'm 41.

My brother has recently added, "The farmer says you're old..." after Happy Birthday. I really feel the farmer (maybe Farmer Ted, shown at left) is right this time.

I feel old. I mean, I don't physically feel old, but up through 40 I could feel like I was still in my "30s" since the decade doesn't end until the 1st year of the next decade. This means that at 40 I could claim to be in my thirties as could someone 31. 31 isn't old by anyone's reconing.

Not so 41.

Well, at least next year I'll have the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything.

Prop's Philosophy on "Religion"

I went to church today. I go to Greek Orthodox Church because my wife is Orthodox and her parents would never have let me marry her if we hadn't reared the kids as Orthodox.

Anyway, I went to church today armed with an article I found on the web about the differences between Roman Catholic (which I am) and Orthodox. It we written by an Orthodox person so it was generally, "Stupid Romans."

It got me to thinking about a general analogy I came up with years ago about religions. By "religions," I mean, organized or systemic belief systems and / or world-views (including religions and the scientific method).

My analogy is this: religion is to God and the ultimate Truth as maps are to the actual things they are mapping.

I am assuming there is an ultimate and immutable Truth. I am not assuming God or any sort of god.

There is a reality to the universe and all religions attempt to portray that universe. Some world views, like the scientific method, do not try to "get you somewhere" they just provide information, while some are trying to get you to heaven, Asgard, Nirvana, God etc.

Now, there are a lot of different types of maps, topographical, political, road, climatic, historical, bird migration etc. Each can portray a certain area in a different way, with different emphasis and different information. They may not look anything like each other, but they do not contradict each other and they may all be accurate and true.

There are even some maps that because of their purpose may be somewhat misleading. A "Strip Map" showing you the route to grandma's house may be completely out of scale so that the important turns and landmarks can be made more prominent.

The AAA map and the grandma's strip map may look totally different and may in fact contradict each other, but they could also both get you to grandma's house.

Apply the concept to religion here. Two religions may be contradictory, but still get you to God.

Just because the maps don't look like each other, and even if they disagree with each other doesn't mean, and isn't evidence that they are "wrong."

Just because religions don't agree doesn't mean one or both of them are "wrong."

On the other hand the maps (and religions) could be inaccurate or completely wrong. They could be wrong even if they agree with each other.

The bottom line is, a religion or world-view is only a map. It is not reality, just a representation.

Cubicle Wizard

Hold that thought. Also hold these:

Cubicans, small brownie-like, helpful creatures of the night office.

Goulays: evil, kolboldesque creatures of the office that mess with your stuff at night.

Jiminy Cricket!

"We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves." - Eric Hoffer

Well, this post isn't a lie. I said I'd try to post based off quotes and here I am doing it.

Amazing.

Funny thing is, in the past, right here on ye olde bloge I've made resolutions and such and NOT followed through. I don't know why that is and I wonder if it has cost me readers.

What do you think?

Anyways, I was thinking that I could you this blog to record story ideas and such. I'm always jotting down notes on story ideas and maybe I could do it here and we could all discuss the merits of my brainstorms.

My first thought is based on my starting to read What Does a Martian Look Like by Jack Cohen and Ian Stuart. This book is making me think that I am just not smart enough to write SF. I am certainly smart enough to read and enjoy it, just not smart enough to contribute to the genre.

Maybe I should stick to fantasy, mystery and or horror.

The reason I've steered away from fantasy is Harry Potter. There are just too many fantasy books out there with authors and publishers trying to cash in on the Rowlings cow. I wanted to make SF fun and influential again. Maybe I can't, but maybe there's a teat out there for me on the fantasy bandwagon (mixed metaphor warning!)

Anyway, I just can't seem to get back to writing and I think I'm lying to myself. I don't think I have time, but maybe I'm just procrastinating and if I just prioritized writing higher then there would be time, and maybe if I just sent out my novels they'd be snatched up by publishers instantly, and mabye by the end of next year I'll be able to quit my night job and start writing full time.

Excuse me, my nose is growing again...

Goodbye Washoe

Tuesday the chimp, Washoe died. She was born in 1965 so she was about a year older than me. She was the first non-human to learn a human language (American Sign Language).

I have known about her for years and as an Anthropology major I knew that she (and the research done with her) was very influential.

She not only had a vocabulary of about 250 words, she taught other chimps to "speak" ASL. She also showed that non-humans can lie.

Since I had first heard of her so long ago I had assumed that she was long dead, but I am saddened to hear that she was alive and died of natural causes. I thought she was very cool.

Now that Cthulhu month (October) is over you are probably wondering if I will keep up with the regular posting here on Illini6. Well, I'm going to try. I am going to go back to posting a quote daily (or maybe nearly daily).

Happy Halloween!

I've been waiting for an appropriate time to use this image, but I realized that I have run out of days in October. Well, here it is for all you cat people (and cat elder gods).

Happy Halloween. I'll post more photos later today with updates on my UFO and maybe even photos of my little Props in their costumes.







Here is a preview:





One more for good measure. Again, it's an image that I've wanted to post for a while. At the beginning of the month we had 80 degree weather and I thought this little beach image would be nice, but the weather turned before I got to use it (typical Chicagoland). Here it is anyway (don't pay attention to the slight nudity (Cthulhu likes to go commando anyway)).

ConCulture Concepts

This is a random Cthulhu image that I grabbed. I meant to use it on the 23rd of October, but I forgot that day. It is from a 2005 silent film about Cthulhu. I haven't seen the film, but I'd like to.

ConCulture is constructed culture, or a culture that is made up. Some folks do this as just a fun exercise. JRR Tolkien did a lot of his elf stuff just for his own amusement. I do find conculture stuff fun, but like Tolkien I'd like to use it in fiction.


Here are some ConCulture concepts I'd like to explore in my writing:

1. An aquatic based hobbitesque race. Their political system would be based on levels of waterways (creeks are subordinate to streams are subordinate to rivers etc.)

2. Magic based on calendar cycles. Days and times would be magical rather than people, things, or places. It is similar to Mesoamerican cultures concepts.

3. Slavery for convicted felons

4. Military based aristocracy. The culture's form of warfare would have to be heavily logistical in nature. I envision a culture that bases its citizenship on military service and military success on expansion of the empire. A successful soldier would have to be an effective leader, administrator, planner, diplomat and logistician. Before anyone could run for office (if it is democratic in nature) they would first have had to be a military governor or mayor in a conquered territory.

The F'Goeek Has Landed

I finally "finished" my new UFO (actually it's a ISO (identified sitting object) but it's meant to look like a flying saucer or a UFO).

This year I built it of 2x2s and cardboard. I think it looks better than last year and I hope it is more sturdy (in case hooligans decide to demolish it again). My plan is to disassemble it in a week or so and store it for next year (like my spider and web).

I'm going to add lights tomorrow and maybe anchor it better.

What do you think?

Here is a photo of all our Halloween decorations.

Cthulhu May Have Lost Some Weight, But I Haven't

This image is really too skinny to be scary and not really how I envisioned the mighty C to be.

Anyway, I got on the scale today and I'm back up to 221. I had started my work out program at 240 and got down as far as 216 in the first 80 days. I did allow myself some junk food and a break to heal (disloacted collar bone, partially torn bicep etc.) but I was very disappointed to see that I had gained back 5 whole pounds.

I'm back on the horse, so to speak. I've started working out again and after today I'm rethinking salads.

So long french fries, I'll see you after 210lbs!

Prop Fhtagn

Today I got quite a bit of sleep, ironically. I had a 0630-0730 meeting (I work 2300 - 0700 now) and then a 1300-1500 meeting.

Well, Mrs. Prop was kind enough to take the day off. My morning meeting went, as expected, a tad long, but I got about three hours of sleep before I had to go to the next meeting.

It was rescheduled and they didn't tell me. I found out after I had come into work.

Thank the elder gods, because I managed to go home and get another three hours of sleep.

Wow, thanks to a snafu and my wife I got about 50% more sleep today, hurrah! Plus, I got brownie points for coming in at a time that is equivalant to the middle of the night for normal people.

Scary Cthulhu

I tried for a scary Cthulhu today because it's raining and I feel that way. Besides, I don't think I'm going to have time to write a novel this November for NaNoWriMo.

That's trebly bad:

1. Practice makes perfect. I think I'm getting better and will get better with practice.

2. I have a tradition and I hate to break with tradition. I kind of like it, it's a challenge that is difficult, but I can and have done it. It gets harder in some ways each year, because I want to improve. It also gets easier each year.

3. Most importantly, I had a really good idea and it really needs telling, but if I don't have time to write it now, I may never get time to write it. If I don't write it then no one will. In fact, if I don't write it, no one CAN.

I may have to write some short stories using these characters to keep them alive while I wait for enough time to write their book.

I have told the basic premise to several people and they like it and can't wait to read the book. I won't torture you, dear reader that way, but I will tell you that the main character is a recently divorced, recently down-sized middle-aged man named Carrol Elderidge.

Fund Raising (the dead) Day

Random Cthulhu image today, cuz I was rather busy.

I started the day working with my old Illinois Army National Guard unit. They are deploying soon and I volunteered to help with family support (called the Family Readiness Group or FRG).

When I got there today (the first time I actually went to anything or got any information about it) I was informed that I had volunteered to Lead the group. Well, I did say I'd do anything they needed.

As soon as that was over I had to run because I was late for our local GSUSA group's second annual spaghetti dinner. I did that until we had sold all the spaghetti and cleaned up. Then I went home, slept for about an hour and off to work for the night. Whew.

BTW, here is the Distinctive Unit Insigna for my old unit. I like to think Sine Qua Non means:

Sine = wave

Qua = what

Non = none (duh)

Therefore it stands for, "What, no waves?" I add a silent "Dude" to the end.

In reality is means, "That, with which cannot be done" or, "You need this. "

Lovecraft Circus / Book Reviews

I know I promised book reviews, but I don't really have time today.

Let me just say that if you are from Chicago you will not like Mr. Konrath's books because of the many gaffs and mistakes in details about our fair city.

What I do like is the audio book, in fact that is the only reason I listened to the second book. There are two readers, a man and a woman who read the male and female parts respectively. You would swear that there are about ten actors though. They are that good. I love the man's south side accent (showcased when he reads the Herb Benedict parts).

Some of the mistakes I remember off the top of my head:

1. Chicago does not have smog. Smog is smoke and fog. Chicago has smoke certainly, but rarely fog and not the temperature inversion you need to combine the smoke and fog and cook them together. You can see the stars from Chicago, they are obscured by LIGHT POLLUTION, but not smog.

2. People in Chicago NEVER call a Pizza a "PIE."

3. People in Chicago don't even know what a Hogie is (or how to spell it), let alone would ever eat one. In Chicago you eat ITALIAN BEEF SAMMICHES.

4. Chicagoans would never refer to a "highway" in this way, "I 90 otherwise known as the Kennedy." They would say, "the Kennedy, otherwise known as I90." This is a minor one, but it just didn't ring true.

5. There is no 53rd Street in Evanston.

6. Gary, IN is not 40 minutes from Chicago. It is 25 miles from the Loop, but is just the width of Hammond, IN from Chicago's south-east side. Chicago goes all the way to the Indiana border down there. I suppose that the main character, Jack Daniels is Loop centric, but that's no reason to say that Gary is further than Joliet, IL or Lake Forest, IL.

7. In the Chicago Police Department the Detectives do not have graded ranks (ie. Detective 1, Detective 2, etc.)

8. In the CPD detectives operate out of Areas, not districts (though I do give the author credit for not putting the CPD in precincts) and belong to the Bureau of Investigations.

9. The CPD Bureau of Investigations is commanded by a Deputy Superintendent. Deputy Superintendents are sometimes referred to as Dep, but the Superintendent is never referred to as the "Super."

10. "Feebies" is a VERY derogatory term for the FBI agents and is rarely used if at all. It would be like using the "N" word often and in mixed company. You just don't do it.

11. Chicago cops wear STARS, not "badges." He got this wrong in the first book, Whiskey Sour, but sometimes got it right in Rusty Nail.

12. The biggest one of all, Evanston is not on Chicago's west side. I don't know how or why Joe Konrath decided to move the home of Northwestern University. I have to think that he did it consciously, because he thanks a dozen people in his acknowledgments. One of them had to know where Evanston is.

Okay, that was pretty much the meat of my review anyway. The audio books are worth it for the theatrics, but the books, though suspenseful and high tension, just don't have enough Chicago rightness about them.

I don't know how to let Mr. Konrath know about his slip-ups. Maybe you gentle readers can help.

I'll give you another Cthulhu image if you do...

Random Cthulhu

Do you remember Bozo's Circus?

Da da da da da da da da da duh duh da DUM!

Aw, we'll have to try again, it's an elder god, erm I mean Don't-Care-Bear-ulhu.

Tomorrow I'll have a review of Joe Konrath's books: Whiskey Sour and Rusty Nail.

I should say, I'm going to point out da tings he got wrong about da cidy of broad shoulders my friend.

Children First Indeed

Mrs. Prop is "out of town" (she's in Chicago and since we live in Mundelein, which isn't even in Cook county then technically she's out of town, even though we live in "Chicagoland" and she is really only 45 minutes to 6 hours away depending on rush hour).


That means that I took off of work to be with the little Props (hence the first image today) since we don't want them to be home alone while I'm at work (I really like the bloody handprints, that's a nice touch).

I have also been naughty. I was supposed to take this time on my own to edit my mystery story, write a new story and do prep work for my NaNoWriMo novel. Instead I've monkeyed around on the computer doing almost anything but.


This is me perusing the Necronomicon instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Nothing but trouble can come from this. Mark my words.





Oh, and I'm supposed to be working on Halloween decorations. I'm not one of those people who think Halloween is the second coming of Xomercial Xmas. No Xmasy lights and cutsie stuff like that. I have a giant spider and a house-hugging web (made of 1/4" nylon rope so it can't get away). The spider is up, but the web isn't yet (of course the spider goes up first so she can "spin" the web).

I'm also building a new UFO. My attempt last year was destroyed (probably aliens who didn't want it known exactly what their crafts look like).

Finally, I have been away from this blog (and Miserable Donuts) for several days. I know you gentle readers have been holding your breaths, thinking, "when will he return, is he alright, have dark cultists captured him, or Nayrlathotep?" That's why I'm regaling you with all these Cthulhuloid images today.

Fear not, well, okay fear, FEAR A LOT!

Friday Cthulhu

Tonight is SciFi Friday Night. It's also scout night.

How do these go together? Whell, when I was a young Boy Scout Dr. Who was on channel 11 on Sunday nights.

Now that I'm an older Girl Scout leader there is a new Dr. Who and he's on the SciFi channel on Friday nights.

All of this made me think about the movie for which today's Cthulhu image is a poster. Apparently a SILENT, black and white movie has recently been made based on HPL's short story "Call of Cthulhu." I'm going to try to find and see it.

Anyone out there know if it's out and where it can be found?

Giant Garden Gnomes of Doom

I showed this image to someone at work today. I was planning on using it for my wallpaper for October.

He said that that conical things in the middle ground looked like giant garden gnomes.

Drat! There goes my image of this. I can't look at it and think scary thoughts anymore, all I can see are harmless porcelain oddities.

That reminds me of the first time I actually saw The Shining. I was in college and I had a goofy friend that quoted the movie all the time (redrum, redrum). When I finally saw it myself I was laughing at all the reminders of my friend.

Peeps Cthulhu

I found this elder sign made from old Peeps candies and thought it was pretty cool.

I'm feeling better today about my "writing career." I guess I won't give up on it.

Maybe the sugary candy evil made me do it.

Speaking of that, I've been eating junk again. I had ice cream yesterday (promised myself a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough when I ended my 90 day work out program). Today I had Nutella on a bagel, then another bagel with butter, then a quarter bag of Lite popcorn, but with Butter Buds. I also had a double quarter pounder with cheese, fries, a double cheeseburger and a Coke (yes a real Coke, not diet).

Funny that only the Nutella tasted as good as I remembered. Good thing I was planning on ending the eating madness after today anyway.

Rejected!

I submitted my story "Lest Too Light Winning Make the Prize Light" to Apex, a scifi e-magazine, and it was rejected.

Ugh, in 18 years of writing I have made a grand total of $10 dollars.

Take me now Cthulhu!

Go Bears!

I have no idea what this photo is of, or who it is, but the guy next to Cthulhu is wearing a green and gold tee-shirt so maybe he's a Packer fan about to meet his timely end.

Bears beat the Packers 27-20, amazing. The stars must have been right I guess.

Favre is now tied for most carreer interceptions (with one time Bear George Blanda).

Any day the Packers loose is a good one, any day the Bears win is better and any day the Bears beat the Packers is GREAT!

Saves?!

I'm not sure what Cthulhu saves (this is from a site called Spkiemarket), but maybe it's an oximoron like Cubs win.

This seemed like a good one for Sunday.

BTW, I wanted to say thank you to all the fallen Firefighters and all those who risk their lives every other day. My family has a long tradition of firefighters and I feel a certain kinship (two of my brothers and my dad are firefighters).

Saturday Morning Cthulhu

It's Saturday morning and I woke up with such a headache. I had some crazy dreams last night. It must me my new pajamas. They were made in some place that starts with "R'L" something.

My Dad just had surgery Thursday and we are going to visit him and my in-laws. I see lots of driving in my future.

Wow, I'm psychic now too!

Evil Election Results

They sure did vote for a lesser evil. My biggest little Prop lost her election.

She had a lot of good issues and an actual platform, but alas, grade school elections are all about popularity (maybe they all are, but I'm not that cynical yet).

The good thing is she went to the teacher moderating the Student Council and asked that her campaign promises be honored. The teacher told her that she could take charge of them and made my little Prop the Commissioner of Suggestion Boxes.

So, although she lost she is still on the council (Kobayashi Maru) and still able to honor her promises. I'm so proud!

Cthulhu Election Day

Today (Thursday) was election day at my little Props' school.

My oldest is running for Secretary. So, like da good Chicagoan I am I voted a couple o' times and I made sure all my dead realitaves voted too. If all my daughter's ward captains did their jobs she should be fine. Da results come out Friday.

Dead people voting is very Lovecraftian, don't you think?

Who do you think would win in a fight between Da Coach and Da Elder Gods my friend?

It's Cthulhu Time Again

It's that time of year again. That time when the stars are right, I'm getting geared up for NaNoWriMo, the weather is changing and even that which cannot die lies sleeping.

Anywho, I've been exercising like crazy because of that P90 Challenge and it's almost over (I promised myself a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough).

Now it's time to edit my "summer" mystery project (so I can sell it for big dollaro$), and work on my Halloween decorations.

I'll post photos of my big spider and her web once they're up.

I'm also going to try to rebuild my UFO (cross your fingers and pray to the god of your choice).

I haven't talked about Rugby and the RWC because I've been too busy. There is the working out, but I have also changed departments (meaning more training and a new qualification for me) and I have changed shifts (I'm now on 3rd, 2230 - 0700 Sunday through Thursday).

I volunteered for the change at work. It's a good career move and it works better with the little Props' schedules.

I have finished Harry Potter Book 7, but I didn't want this to become a Harry Potter site. If you want to discuss it, I'd be glad to though.

Funny that even though I'm retired from the Active Guard, I don't really have any additional time.

A big chunk of my old unit is being called up to go to Iraq in the 4th Quarter and I'm going to try to help the Family Readiness Group (they support the families of folks that are deployed). Our FRG was WOEFULLY inadequate when I went to Afghanistan and I want to fix that.

Rugby RUGBY RUGBY!!!

The RWC (Rugby World Cup) started today at 1:00PM my time.

I programmed my STUPID TV to tape the France v Argentina AND the USA v England and it didn’t work!!!! I’ll figure that dang thing out yet.

There are 48 games total (so I still have 46 more to get it right) from now until October. I’m rooting for New Zealand (Ka Mate!) since the USA will be lucky to win one game.

I had gotten the cable (then satellite) package that had Fox Sport World especially because they had Rugby. That was how I saw the last RWC. A year ago or so FSW was castrated and became Fox Soccer Channel (they removed almost all their Rugby). I was dieing, but now Mrs. Prop (God bless her heart) found out that we have Setanta Sport channel in our package. They claim they’re carrying all the games.

Can you say Woo Hoo? I knew you could.

Also, on Miserable Donuts there is a very nifty video of yours truly playing Rugby in Champaign – Urbana two weeks ago. I’m wearing number 1.

Potter Clarification

The previous post contained a prediction made a couple of days before the seventh and final (by my prediction) Harry Potter book came out.

I wrote "opinions" which now seems like my review of the book after I had read it. I have not finished the book, but the day after it came out I searched the web to find out if my predictions were correct.

Number 1, we'll have to wait on. Numbers 3 and 4, that Dumbledore is alive and Snape killed the horcrux were both completely wrong. Numer 2 though, was spot on and by far the most important one in my mind.

Another thing, I commented that The Order of the Phoenix omitted the part of Snape's memories where Lily (Harry's mom) saves Snape from James Potter's teasing. Now, in light of the last book that seems like either a bigger gaff than before OR it was planned to avoid reminding people of the relationship between Snape and Lily and thus providing one more clue that Snape was not evil.

So, who's read the last book and what do they think?

Prop on Potter (and Flyboys)

I just saw Flyboys. I'm glad they made a WWI fighter pilot movie, but I wish they'd have been just a little more historically accurate. For instance, all the Germans are flying Red Triplanes. I'm pretty sure Red was rare if not unique to Baron Von Richtoffen. I caught a few other things out of place, but it was enjoyable. I was going to rip it up for historical inaccuracy, but there are already enough sites that have done that. This site is VERY specific.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – I watched this two days ago. I didn't put any spoilers in it so don't worry.

Well, they did at least one thing very right. In the book, I feel that Harry whines throughout. I just felt like slapping him in the book. In the movie it is better balanced and is shown less as whining and more as frustration. I really appreciated that.

Three things really struck me.

The actors are too old for their parts. I think that's been said other places before ad nauseaum, but unfortunately it's true. My remedy would be to skip the sixth movie and jump right into the seventh. I think the sixth movie will be anticlimactic after all is revealed in the seventh book anyway. All the suspense and good storytelling (finally) will have paid off already.

The second thing is that there are scenes where some of the actors don't have lines. Jenny [EDIT: Ginny] Weasley goes through the entire movie and the only things she says are her spells and curses. It looks to me like the director felt that we all needed to see those characters, we wanted to see them, but there just wasn't enough time in the film for their storylines. I don't know enough about filmmaking to give an answer, but I can see if it is wrong and this was wrong.

They left out some small, but I thought important points. I am not a dyed in the wool fanatic and I don't have all the books memorized. I read that book so long ago that I forgot what happens in it and I get things mixed up between the books, so you know that if I spot an omission it was probably something memorable. The biggest one of these is when Harry gets into Snape's thoughts and sees his father teasing and bullying Snape when they were both in school. What they don't show is how Lilly, Harry's mom, saves Snape. I think they should have left that in.

That said, I enjoyed it, especially since the tickets were a gift (my opinion is that Jo Rowlings has enough of her own money and I'm not going to give her any more of mine). It had some really great wizard battles and some pump your fists kind of scenes. I recommend it (especially if you can get it for free).

Now I am going to make public my opinions on the seventh book. Mark these down and note the date:

1. The seventh book will be the LAST of the Harry Potter books. I do not think it will be the last book set in that universe, but I think that if J.K Rowlings decides it is the last book there is no force in the world that can change her mind, but I also think that she loves that universe (or world if you will) too much to leave it.

2. Snape is a Dumbledore man. That's right, no quibbling about it, no reservations. Snape is a Dumbledore man. I don't know how he got out of the oath he made, but I do know that he didn't kill Dumbledore. I even have a theory of how he made it look like he killed him, but didn't. Rowlings had been trying with very poor effect to paint Snape as a bad guy and she finally found a way to do it convincingly. It is still the Snape that is loyal however.

3. Dumbledore is not dead! He explained it all to Malfoy. Dumbledore told Malfoy that they could make it look like he was dead. It was all a set up by Dumbledore, in front of two of the most unimpeachable witnesses (Harry and Draco).

4. Snape actually killed the horcrux of Voldemort. That's what he was aiming the curse at, not Dumbledore. I guess this is a minor thing after the other three, but I had to say it, it may be important.

Any questions?

The Camera Adds Ten Pounds (I swear, at least that many)

Well, I just started an exercise routine called P90 (by Beachbody). It is supposed to last for 90 days, 6 days a week and you start out by taking a photo of yourself.

My God! I swear that's not the person in my mirror! How come I don't look that bad when I'm shaving?

I'm going to use this as the wallpaper to my home computer. That way, every time I sit down to use the computer I'll say to myself, "get up quick and work out, now!"

I'll spare you my stats, but I do still make the body fat percentage for the Army.

In the movie The Incredibles, Mr. Incredible works out after his first trip to the island. He lifts trains and such, just like my workout routine. After that he measures his waist, he's happy that it's down to 39" but when he goes to E to get his suit fixed she says, "My god you've gotten fat."

HEY! That's right about my waist size. I was always offended. Now after seeing these photos I'm saying to myself exactly what E said.

Serenity Review

SPOILER - SPOILER - SPOILER

I want to get this over with from the get go, DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE.

I went to the library and grabbed the TV series. The little props and I enjoyed it very much (I enjoyed it almost as much simply because they enjoyed it). So, when we ran out of episodes (too quickly) I picked up the movie. We decided that the movie might be a little too much for little prop eyes and they didn't watch it (I'm glad they didn't), but I did.

I am disappointed and happy.

I'll talk about the things I liked first.

It was actually Sci-Fi! I'm so glad the Western part fell behind the actual SF. The TV series was often TOO Western and they could very easily left the "boat" behind. The stories didn't need the science to make them work. The movie could not have worked if the science weren't involved (okay, it could have worked with magic, but ANYTHING could work if you just say it was magic). This is what defines SF and I am so glad they finally got that right.

As a writer I have to say, I'm glad they weren't afraid to kill some of the main characters. Yes that's right I'm glad they killed main characters. That isn't a bad thing in and of itself. I know that sometimes it just works. If you are too in love with the characters to kill them then they could stop being real in your story. You remember when MASH stopped letting the characters be real in the story, about the time Winchester came along. To me that also happened in Angel in the second season. They didn't let that happen too much in this movie and I'm glad.

I liked the Shepard's death. He shot down the ship, he managed to keep himself alive long enough to talk to Mal, he gave Mal good advice and then he died. He had a good death. I'm not happy that any further Firefly/Serenity things cannot have Ron Glass and his Shepard character, I'll miss him, but his was a good death.

I didn't like what they let the River character become (played by Summer Glau, which we all thought was funny, that River was played by Summer). She ended up being Buffy the Reaver slayer. What the heck was that? She was a weapon, okay, but a mental weapon. In the TV series she shot three people, but she did it with math.

I listened to Joss Whedon's comments for the big, River vs. the Reavers scene and he even said he didn't know why all his movies/TV series involve a super powered adolescent girl. I don't know why either, maybe you should get help (that's why I chose the photo I posted here: no River).

Two other minor problems about River, why did the reavers stop shooting during her big fight and couldn't you have used some different makeup to at least TRY to make Summer Glau look 17 still?

The song was gone. It was very charming to hear my six-year-old walk up the stairs to her room singing, "Take my love, take my land…" I missed the song.

Now comes the proverbial straw…

Wash's death SUCKED! Not because he died, and not just in how he died, but in everyone's reaction and especially in ZOE'S LACK OF REACTION!

That was wrong, wrong, wrong. I listened to Joss Whedon's commentary for that part too and he said that he had to fight Gina Torres (Zoë) to get her not to react. Hey Joss, she got it right!

I said the Western thing got on my nerves. I said that my three young daughters liked the show. What made the show good was the characters and how they worked with each other. I loved the fact that Zoë and Wash (Alan Tudyk) were married. I didn't realize it until the movie, but Zoë had actually taken his name. I love that.

I'm a sentimentalist and a romantic. I didn't want them to be lovers; I wanted them to be husband and wife. In the episode "War Stories" you got to see that taken to the extreme. I loved that. The bond between a husband and wife has got to be as strong or stronger than any other.

They completely lost that in the movie. Zoë doesn't EVER mourn Wash. Okay, she's tough. She was shook up. It made her move too close to the reavers and get cut. She stabbed one reaver kind of a lot. I expected at least that. It made sense, she was tough, she had been through the war and had seen many of her comrades die, but COME ON! She was more broken up when that nut job that used to be in their unit got himself shipped to them as a dead body and eventually did die than she did when her husband, her soul mate, her better half died.

Not only did he not get the chance to have an heroic death like Shepard Book, fighting to save everyone else, making the ultimate sacrifice, but now I have lost all respect for the Zoë character. How can you respect anyone who can't cry for their spouse's death?

That ruined the movie for me.

Oh yeah, and in the movie, the spaceships make noise in space. UGH!

Prop Future

I may update this as we go.

Things I think we will do or have in the next 100 years:
1. Looks like we will put a base on the moon.
2. Base on Mars
3. Surgically implant phone/web in our heads
4. Use hollowed out asteroids as space habitats (spabitats) in earth orbit
a. Turn one of Mars' moons into a spabitat
b. Use spabitats in the asteroid belt
c. Start building spabitats in Jupiter orbit
5. Space elevator
6. Virtual reality morass (I think virtual reality (video games) will slow down progress as people get too wrapped up in it and eventually it could destroy civilization because too many people will refuse to deal with reality).
7. Nanomeds – medical treatments will be performed by molecular robots that are programmed to do certain things (go into a cell and rewrite the DNA etc.)
8. Required genetic screening for all fetuses
9. Genetic manipulation (improvements) of humans
10. Cloning of human body parts in order to prolong life (at age 60 you get a whole new set of lungs, heart, liver etc.)
11. Find life on Europa
12. Faster than Light (FTL) Communication will allow contact aliens through some sort of string theory/quantum communication method that is completely separate from any electromagnetic detecting (the answer to the Fermi Paradox is, "they're on the other line"). We will exchange a lot of knowledge, but never come in contact.
13. Send out the first starship, which will be a generational starship built of a spabitat.

Things I think we will not do (and may never do):
1. Teleport (transporter = impossible)
2. Faster than light travel (impossible). No hyperspace, no warp speed, just plain old moving from here to there in real space/time.
3. Space battles will not occur or will only occur close to space habitats. The "shore batteries" that are used for defense against meteors will be too effective for shipboard weapons and the sensors of a large stationary object will far outstrip any ship. Ships will all be subject to "shore battery" from so far out that ships will be "covered" by shore at all times. Battles will be with infantry in space suits or inside space habitats.
4. Establish colonies ON any of the other moons.

New Prop-Time

I just started a new schedule at work. I am still trying to figure out my non-work schedule around it.

I'm now working 1500-2330 (3:00PM to 11:30PM). That means the little Props don't need daycare for the summer, hooray!

It also means that I start work four hours after the people who report to me and stay at work three and a half hours after the last one leaves. Well, I'm moving to a different department soon (hopefully) so they'll have to learn to live without me.